Sunday, May 8, 2011

My mama.

It's one of the hardest things in the world being a motherless woman. I feel a happy jealousy when I see my friends with their moms. I did not have a mom around to help me with girl stuff, to go shopping with, to watch me go off to prom, to send me away to college, to warn me about boys and watch me fall in love with my (one and only) boyfriend now husband, to fawn over my engagement ring, to help me pick out my wedding dress, or to watch me walk down the aisle. And she will not be there when I have my first child or when I need parenting advice at 2 o'clock in the morning. Truth be told, I do not remember what it feels like to be a daughter. And sadly, I do not remember much about my mother. But I do know this: I was loved.

mama

This is my most favorite picture of my mother - pregnant with me. See, my mom HATED getting her picture taken, and she rarely ever smiled for the camera. Even in her wedding pictures, she mostly has a delighted, serene expression on her face. But I think here, with me in her belly, there's no disguising her joy.

My mom made a living crafting and creating things, and she instilled that creativity in me. She inspired my love of books and learning, reading to me nightly before tucking me in and taking me to the library weekly to check out as many books as I could possibly read. The way she advocated for my brother with autism before there were few resources available is what inspired me to work in social services. And although I miss what I do remember of her, I mostly feel sadness for the relationship I know we would have had if she lived longer. She was beautiful, giving, and exactly the kind of woman I aspire to be. Happy Mother's Day, mama. I hope you're proud of me. xoxoxo

33 comments:

  1. *Hugs* to you. I go through the other side of this every June.

    It's amazing how much closer you feel to them, even though they're gone, when you have children. It really adds another connection.

    Thinking of you today. :)
    ~K

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  2. I know your mother is proud of you... how could she not be with all that you have accomplished? I know you'll be the most fabulous mother someday and your children will be so lucky to have you as their mama!

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  3. No one could be prouder than a mother of her child. May you find her presence in the strong women that surround you.

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  4. I agree with what Angeline said. It's not possible for a mother to not be immensely proud of her child. I believe she's watching over your every step.

    Following from Mingle monday
    The Survival Mama

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  5. Stoppinb by from military monday blog hop...very nice to meet you! I adore California and would love to live there!

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  6. aww Hugs to you :/ and on the opposite end of you, I lost a child..
    A mother is always proud of her child it sounds like you've done so much and I was told the other day her presence is always with you :|
    ((((Hugs))))

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  7. All I can offer are hugs, well virtual hugs that is. I am not on any end of such a loss, but I can only imagine the pain and sadness there is at this time of year. I agree whole heartedly with everyone else though, especially since I have kids of my own, your Mom would be so proud and I have no doubt she's watching you and taking part in your life even though you can't see her. I hope you had a good Mother's Day and it wasn't too sad. I'm stopping by from military monday blog hop and I look forward to getting to know you better.

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  8. That is a beautiful picture of your momma. New Follower from Monday Hop at Frugality is free.

    ~ Kimberlee at The Spunky Diva 

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  9. Mom's are such important people in our lives. Mine has been gone for 8 years and I sure could use a good visit with her once in a while!


    New Follower! Hope you can stop by for a visit.
    Thanks, Becky Jane
    http://RiseAboveYourLimits.blogspot.com/

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  10. Following you in every possible way :-) From To Making Friends Monday Blog Hop.
    Hope to see you at http://www.luckyangelandgiveaways.blogspot.com/
    Thank you and have a great week :-)

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  11. Hugs, I lost me mother also, it's hard. Following you from the blog hop, you can find me at

    http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/

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  12. such a beautiful post! *huge hugs*

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  13. Sweet Sweet post. You know I BELIEVE you will see your mom again and you will be able to share avery moment missed FOREVER. This earthly life is just the beginning. I found you though the blog hop. Really like your blog. Following now..and excited to do so :)

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  14. You now have a new follower, Can you please Follow back?
    http://christy1986p.blogspot.com/

    Tweet with me on Twitter to.
    http://twitter.com/#!/CHRISTY1986P

    Become a fan on my Christina's voice Fan page.
    http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Christinas-Voice/133218916750446

    Thanks have a great day!

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  15. That was a very sweet post. You and your mother look so much alike.
    I LOVE your blog! The fingerprint art looks so much fun and I am going to have to try it.
    Following from the blog hops. Hope you'll stop by sometime.

    Jessica
    http://www.mommies2cents.com

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  16. This is awesome!!!

    Just browsing some of the blog hop blogs and I wanted to say hi! I will follow you as well. We also have a Facebook fan page at http://www.facebook.com/aiasdotca that you should check out! We always like and follow back, just leave us a note <3

    Monika @ Aias Dot Ca (http://www.aias.ca)

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  17. Hi! I am stopping by from Tuesday's hops. I am a new follower. What a beautiful picture of your mom. I am sure she is smiling down on you. Blessings...
    Saved By Love Creations

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  18. Wow, it sounds like you had an amazing mother! And I love this photo of her.

    I'm stopping by from Tuesday Train Blog Hop. I am a new follower. I hope you'll come check me out and follow me too!

    Sarah
    PS Mom Reviews

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  19. What a lovely post about your mama. New follower from Tuesday hop. Hope you will swing by and check out my new blog. http://thesnailmomchronicles.blogspot.com/

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  20. So heartfelt :-) Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman, although she may not be here physically, her spirit still thrives in you.

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  21. I am following from the blog hop...love your 'tribute' to your mom...all positive energy to you!!
    visit if you will at: childhoodmyths.net

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  22. Such a pretty lady. You're right - you can absolutely see the joy in her smile. I'm also on the other end of this - while my father was alive - he wasn't in my life at all. Kinda sucked knowing he chose not to have a relationship - but it made me appreciate the way my second husband has gotten so close to my daughters.

    Thank you for joining the Train ~ love for you to come back again!

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  23. Hi, I am visiting from the bloghop and I am following you.I would love for you to check out my blog and any advice for a new blogger is welcome.
    http://shandassweepsandfreebies.blogspot.com/

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  24. New follower! Stop by when you get a chance!
    http://jessicathemom.blogspot.com

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  25. Hello :)

    I'm a new follower from Welcome Wednesday. I hope you'll stop by, and follow me back.
    If you do, please feel free to join in my blog hop too; Wobble Over Wednesday.
    I'd really appreciate it :o)

    Amanda T
    http://ratsandmore.com

    PS: Your mom sounded like a truly amazing woman. She really loved you, and I know she's proud of you!

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  26. Hugs to you Leah! I love my girls so much and my heart aches that you don't have you Mom. She was gorgeous. xoxo Mamaw

    I am following you via the WW blog hop. Please follow me.

    http://itsabouttimemamaw.blogspot.com/

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  27. What a sweet tribute to you mom! I'm a new follower from WW blog hop.

    www.suitcasesandsippycups.blogspot.com

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  28. This is such a wonderful tribute! Hugs to you and your family.

    I found you on the blog hop! Hope you can follow mine at:


    Dallas Single Mom Examiner!

    Facebook!

    Twitter!

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  29. What a beautiful tribute to your mother! I can totally relate. I also lost my mother. It's really hard sometimes.

    I am your newest follower. I’m stopping by from “Follow me Back Tuesday”. Better late than never I always say. I dropped a link below… I’m always looking for new friends.
    Cheers,
    Shanae

    My Blog

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  30. This was beautiful! And so was your mother:)
    I'm a new follower from Mingle Monday! Feel free to stop by my blog sometime!
    http://www.itsmyworld-laurenlo.blogpspot.com

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  31. Just wanted to let you know that I made your baked ziti with mini meatballs. It was a huge hit! My husband loved it! The meatballs were sort of a pain, but they were totally worth it. Thanks so much:)

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  32. just doing some catch up reading on your blog and I'm really glad I did. this was a beautiful post and almost made me tear up a little. thank you for sharing

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